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garbage

monkeyrubster:

moonemojii:

When someone lies to you but you already know the truth
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This moon looks like Miranda Cosgrove

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kirbyfucker64:

"how old are you?"

"It’s a secret :3"

"aiight so either 12 or 40 got it"

mcclonalds:

mcclonalds:

tonights bdsm safe word is “superwholock” because thats the best moodkiller i can think of

i made this post two days ago late at night when i was tired as shit and ive gotten at least 10 death threats, 13 messages threatening to dox me, and 5 telling me that im “a piece of shit user who needs to stick a dragon dildo up their ass while shoving a cock down my throat” and i still love this post

nissan420sx:

iamthepulloutking:

WHY do they keep making planet of the apes prequels there’s been like three we know what fucking happens at the end dude we’ve known since like 1975

name one thing simultaneously as cool and funny as a chimp on a horse with a assault rifle

spermbanker:

sometimes i get distracted by my own cleavage like… nice…….

egberts:

driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons

tenticools:

Headline of the year

tenticools:

Headline of the year

lameborghini:

i cant believe math teachers exist….. why would u do that… please love urself

letmeshowyousomethingbeautiful:

OMG LMFAOO

hanukkahlewinsky:

i love when old people figure out how to do something on a computer that’s actually really simple but to them it’s like 

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Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
New Yorker: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.
Tourist:
Tourist:
Tourist:
Tourist: I came here to have a good time and honestly I am feeling so attacked right now.

I'm alex and I'm in love with michael cera